Apparently I should have been named Matthew.

As it turns out, the online game 20 Questions (which I've toyed with previously) has a variant where you think of the name of a person you know, then answer questions about the person to see if 20Q can guess what their name is. As their website ponders, We know that the 20Q A.I. can tell the difference between "a carrot" and "a bicycle", but, can it tell the difference between "John" and "Bob"? Well, I don't know, but clearly it can't tell the difference between "Emma" and "Matthew," "Wyatt," and "Spencer."

And when you've finished answering its questions, it tells you what other people said. Funnily enough, excepting, of course, a name, I have very little in common with other people named Emma:

"Contradictions Detected." Ouch. Well, though I'm never going to be expelled from the tribe of Emmas, I must say that someone who's graceful, never obsessive, grumpy or jealous, stylish, talented in calligraphy, and always ready to admit when they are wrong, not only sounds almost nothing like me but also eerily inhuman. Add in "pleasant housewife" and "cooks well" and you'd get the eighteenth-century model lady. Yikes.