And neither do polka-dot suits.

I'm sure you've all typed stuff in Microsoft Word at some point. And, consequently, you've probably encountered the friendly but infuriating paper clip. (Did you know it has a name? It's apparently called Clipit.)

Clipit is intended to provide help and assistance for clueless Word users. 

However, if you're bored enough, you can also use it as a sort of Magic 8 Ball.

In my opinion, the third and fourth options are fairly reasonable. (Of course this would have been remarkably easy to fake, but that would take the fun out, in my opinion.)

Things like this made me curious. I dug into the settings and somehow made it give me a "Tip of the Day." I didn't know what this meant until, later, I opened Word and got the following.

And, of course, my reaction was, "What?" I'd been expecting, admittedly, something more along the lines of "To change font color, click Format, then Font," which is what I got today. But no, Clipit felt the need to share bits of advice that sounded like they'd come from a kindergarten teacher. Then it settled into a more reasonable pattern of helpful tips that I'd forget three seconds later--like "press [something] and [something] on the keyboard to [do something]." Of course these were helpful. But my all-time favorite Tip of the Day was this:

(Oh, and my Animal Farm essay was in the first screenshot. It was superb, so I'll post it sometime.)