A heartwarming story of family, hope, perseverance, horses, and cliché.

My family likes to watch movies via Netflix online streaming. And I don't know about your family, but it's impossible to decide on a movie we all want to watch. Grace likes horse movies and dog movies, Dad wants to watch classic comedies, Mom (for some reason I will never understand) prefers movies that make her cry, and Zola refuses to compromise with anyone, ever. Usually we watch whatever movie is favored by the person who can successfully keep the others from getting at the computer mouse.
Now, in my capacity as an occasional satirist, I couldn't help but notice that every horse movie offered on the website looks more or less identical.

Lost Stallions: A story of courage and adventure.

Summer of the Colt: A captivating story of love, friendship,   and adventure.


The Dark Horse: A dramatic story of one family's journey to find hope and redemption.



(Believe it or not, I didn't make these up. You can see them right in the pictures, they're just too small to read.)

And then, there's this. These pictures are from Google Images and Netflix, respectively. (It's almost endearing how hard they try to rip you off.)

That's right. It's not Brave. It just looks remarkably like that. Nope, it's a complete coincidence. Really. Even the font is uncannily similar. Here is Netflix's mouse-over description of Kiara the Brave:

Yep, they're really convincing about its unrelatedness. 




And then there are the movies you kind of want to see--not because they sound good, but because their descriptions are intriguing (by which I either mean absolutely hilarious or mind-blowingly stupid). And these are supposed to be getting more intriguing as we go along.


While trying to settle in at her new home in America, a young princess nurtures a pony held captive by a callous, underhanded carnival owner. (Princess and the Pony)


Modern Marvels goes behind the scenes with on-board cameras for a pulse-pounding look at what it's like to drive a five-ton monster truck. (Modern Marvels: Monster Trucks)


When Santa's helper Granny Rose falls ill and must take off a Christmas Eve, she recruits Mr. Grimm to help deliver all the toys. What no one but the toys knows is that Mr. Grimm plans to auction off the toys to the highest bidder! (How the Toys Saved Christmas)


With only one more duty to fulfill before they go home, the six Toa heroes return to Metra Nui to find their once-glorious city in ruins. (Bionicles 3: Web of Shadows)


A tour guide sets out to find some of the most irresistibly kitschy roadside buildings in America, including the World's Largest Catsup Bottle. (Unusual Buildings and Other Roadside Stuff)


Follow along with Pinky, Angel, and Gus as Biblio reads from the magic scroll in this ancient tale of magic, intrigue, jewels, and genies. (Aladdin: Magic Reader Classics)


Strawberry Shortcake and pals Orange Blossom, Ginger Snap, Angel Cake, and Pupcake travel to the Land of Dreams. Their juicy mission is to stop the greedy Peculiar Purple Pieman from stealing all the dreams in Strawberryland. (Strawberry Shortcake: Sweet Dreams)


You know, I was going to pick each of those apart and make fun of them in a more detailed manner, but I think they speak for themselves. So I'll close this post with what is in my opinion the best movie summary on Netflix, of the animated feature film The Thief and the Cobbler:


A long time ago in Baghdad, the evil sorcerer Zig Zag takes possession of the three Golden Balls that protect the city. Tack, a shy cobbler who pines for the beautiful Princess Yum Yum, must get the balls back, and, with the princess, save the city.


I dare you to read that with a straight face.