Emma's Top 10 Recommended Classics

Hello there. I certainly hope you're not one of those people who think that teenagers are the bane of society. If this is the case (and it probably isn't) then please note that 1. We are people too, 2. We do, in fact, do things other than texting, and 3. Sentences that begin with "When I was your age" do not help when you're trying to lecture us. (Self-indulgent nostalgia is fine, sometimes fascinating even, but please no discourses about how many miles you had to walk to school with no shoes to a one-room schoolhouse when you were thirteen. That isn't nostalgia. It's just self-pity.)

Anyway, if you still need more evidence that we adolescents are sophisticated human beings just like the rest of you, I've made a list of classic literature I'd recommend to the general population. (Not all of you have the patience to struggle through Don Quixote. It was excellent, though.)
     
      10. The Invisible Man, H. G. Wells
      Note: This book is not the same as Invisible Man, by Ralph Ellison. They are totally different and you will be utterly confused if you don't know the difference. In the one with the 'the,' the main character discovers how to make objects invisible, and (surprise, surprise) he ends up invisible himself. What's good about this is what he does; or rather, what it does to him. He's invisible, but he doesn't run around playing practical jokes on people. (Don't pretend you've never imagined yourself doing that.) His invisibility drives him mad, which lends the story an element of reality.

      9. The Gift of the Magi, O. Henry
      This is actually a short story but it deserved to be on here. It features the most famous occurrence of the 'O. Henry twist,' a huge irony that the eponymous author used in many of his short stories. It's excellently written and, well, sweet. Hardly a strong adjective, but there's really no other.

      8. The Lady, or the Tiger? Frank R. Stockton
      Another short story. You will love it. It is possibly the most infuriating thing I have ever read. It's slightly satirical and set in an invented fairy-tale land. It features a slightly manic king who has a beautiful daughter (of course) and the commoner with whom said princess falls in love. The king has a rather unusual method of punishment...

      7. The Hobbit, J. R. R. Tolkien
      It's likely that you've heard of this one. It is not overrated. I recommend it over The Lord of the Rings because it's slightly less dense and much easier to read. (I'm not trying to insult your intelligence. You'll see why if you try to read the books.) It also is unnecessary to read The Lord of the Rings to understand it. Nice illustrations, too.

      6. Flowers for Algernon, Daniel Keyes
      Not really sure if this one counts as a classic. It's a great example of "show-not-tell." The main character's intelligence is improving steadily, but it's never actually mentioned. It's just inferred from his improving writing skills and grammar. It's easy to get lost if you're not following the plot, but overall it's not too hard to read.

      5. Julius Caesar, William Shakespeare
      For those of you who cringe at the mere mention of Shakespeare, this one's worth it to struggle through. Yes, you probably know the plot. Yes, you probably also know Caesar's dying words. Yes, you probably do not want to read it. But seriously. It's really good. It's not even comprehensible by the words 'really good' but that's what it is. Plus, you can look very intelligent and sophisticated when people ask what you're reading and you respond nonchalantly, "Oh, just Shakespeare."

      4. The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
      There's not much I can say about this book. It pretty much speaks for itself. Oh, yes, read it in French if you can, because it makes more sense in the original language, but for you nonfrancophones out there, it's just as good in English.

      3. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
      Try to ignore the fact that 1984 did, in fact, take place in a rather different form than that in which Orwell envisioned it. (I pity you if you can't get around this mental block.) Read it and be frightened. Again, it speaks for itself (as a good book should). Oh, and when I first read it I thought that the tube was some imagined form of futuristic transportation. It's just what English people call the subway. Please don't be a clueless American like me.

      2. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
      This is historical fiction. It will take you a while to figure that out. I had several conversations while reading it that went like this:
"Whatcha reading?"
"Catch-22."
"Oh, cool. So what time period does that take place in?"
"Um, I'm not sure."
"What's the setting?"
"No idea."
But don't worry. You'll get it. You just need to make it past page 50 and then I promise you'll be fine. It's very confusing to read at first (it's not chronological) but also quite funny. It's satirical and ridicules bureaucratic ineptitude (among many other things).

      1. The Three Musketeers, Alexandre Dumas
      Pleeeease make sure you read an accurate translation. (Penguin Classics has a fantastic one. The public domain one is terrible. Sorry.) This book is amazingly good and also amazingly long for the average person. (That would not be me.)
If you need proof of just how amazingly good it is, there's probably a reason why there are seven or eight movie versions. (But read the book. As a rule of thumb, the book is always better. I've never actually seen any of the movies so this point of view may be slightly biased. But good luck trying to watch a movie under your desk in class.)
Anyway. You can tell which people have actually read it because we know that there are actually four friends as the main characters; not to mention several antagonists of the dastardly-villain-with-a-sword variety. (Admittedly they are my favorite type of villain.) There is also romance, but not so much that you're fidgeting in your seat wondering when they'll get on with the fencing already. (Hooray for brevity.) Oh, and you will also learn some fascinating old-fashioned French oaths. (Sacrebleu!) 

I suppose I should end with some concluding remarks,  but that was really an abnormally long post and I'm tired of typing now. So goodbye.